Blazing Brothers
by starmendeluxe
Summary: Where twins learn the true meaning of Dank Ass Weed


Lucas was pullin' out another blunt from his ass pocket. Claus was still workin' on his last one. Their birthday was today, and they were gonna celebrate it the only way they knew how: Weed. Snoop Dog was blaring in the background as the two boys were light and flyin' high. Heaven has been achieved for the day.

"Bitch this place be off the fuckin' chain. Best b-day, bro" Claus said while smashing some more Doritos into his mouth the feed of the munchies.

"Hell yeah, dog. Good thing Boney hooked us up with the shit" Lucas smiled while he lit another. That would make the 5th within the past hour.

"Yo bitch we gotta rashin' that shit. It a'int gonna last forever, broham."

"Dawg I a'int gotta do shit," Lucas yells as he goes to put a second in his mouth. Results of his speedweed could be found in the corner minutes before.

Flint came barreling through the door. "MY LITTLE NIGLETS, WE GOT A FUCKIN' PROBLEM."

"What be the problem poppa?" Lucas said.

"WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF THE WEED!" Flint shouted at the top of his lungs. His eyes still showed a tint of red; he was still nursing a hangover.

"wHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY MI PADRE? WE HAD WEED FOR DAYS, THE FUCK DID IT GO?" Lucas shouted while wiping away from blunts and seman.

"WE FUCKIN' SMOKED IT ALL!" Flint shouted.

"BULL FUCKING SHIT! WE HAD IT RIGHT H-" Claus said as he reached for the pot bag. It was as empty as a whore on Christmas. "WHERE THE FUCK DID IT ALL GO THEN, POPS?"

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY! WE. FUCKIN'. SMOKED. IT." Flint once again said.

'Can't Boney just hook us up with some more? He's been growin' it since as long as I can remember!"

A small cough was heard from outside from Boney, as he'd also been smokin' the blunt as long as he can remember. That shit is murdering his dawg lungs and he was on his last legs. Literally. One bad high on LSD and you bite off 3 of your legs. It's a sad life that Boney lives.

"Damn son, Boney is done with that shit. He's too fuckin' old to deal with the drug biz. He's packed up enough for what he needs to get him through. Niggas, we on our own from now on. We want it, we gotta grow it…" The whole idea of growing the plant was so foreign for all of them. Lucas shoved some Doritos into his mouth and ate some chicken wings he had kept in his hair for *about* a month while he thought.

"Ya think Boney can at least teach us how to make this shit?" Lucas asked while he chowed down on some food-borne illness fest of chicken.

"Ruff ruff, dawgs. I'm nearly out of it, but I can get ya goin' on the biz." Boney said as he stumbled on his single leg into the fire hazard that the family calls a house. He put down a small bag that he kept in his matted and unkempt fur, unleashing the brain behind all the good in the group's life. The seeds that make the weed. The blood rush that makes the speedweed fly. The ejaculatior evacuator. It is… The secret stuff.

"We are not worthy…" Lucas and Claus said simultaneously.

"Ya, I know y'all aren't. But… I can't help but see my weed industry die. Boys… This is what it's gonna take to fix your little predicament." He scoots his way over to Lucas and Claus as he offers them his bag. "Planter is out front. If ya need me, I'll be jerkin' it in the backyard. Peace." Boney said as he scooted away into the backyard. What a nice dog.

"L-Lucas…" Claus said.

"C-Claus…" Lucas said.

"Okay… There's only 3 of us here and I feel really left out now. That's not fair." Flint said.

"Shut the fuck up." The two said simultaneously as they walked out front to start their new business. And by business, they actually are just going to make a shitload of weed and share it with absolutely no one else except Flint.

"Yoo hoo~ Boys~" Hinawa said as she walked into their front yard. She even tried to whore herself off to her own kids. This bitch had every STD in the book given to her by every fucker on the world. The money rolled in, at least.

"Hey momma. We're makin' a weed farm!" Claus shouted as she came up to the two.

"Aww, how adorable!" She said while they tried to figure out what to do in the planter out front. "By the way, do you guys hear something?"  
"Just the sweet sound of Snoop Dawg's pride, momma." Lucas said. It was actually Boney doing what he said he would in the backyard, not containing any noises inside of him while doing so.

Now, this is the part where I would write a montage about how Lucas and Claus learn the magic of growing weed that their dog gave to them in front of their yard where they feed the addiction of their whore mom, dad, and themselves. That takes far too much effort to actually go and write that, so I'm gonna skip ahead a week to where the two have a completed batch and are ready to smoke it.

"May you do the honors?" Lucas said as he handed a blunt to Claus.

"Don't mind if I do." Claus said as he put it into his mouth. And, in that moment, he could swear that the world stopped and the only thing that existed was Claus and the blunt. He had a massive out of body experience, where he felt true joy for the first time in years.


End file.
